I first spotted Otto in a jail-mugshot-type photo on my shelter’s website in June 2008. My husband had just agreed that we were ready to have a dog again, three years after the loss of my much-adored Border Collie, Rupert. Can you believe that it took three years of only fostering for the shelter and dog-sitting for family and friends before I had recovered from the loss of Rupert to seriously consider owning a dog again? But within minutes of my husband’s agreement that it was time, I spotted Otto’s photo and emailed the shelter to ask if they would hold him for me – make him unavailable to others – until I could get there the next day.
Truthfully, there were two dogs I was considering: Otto, and a young hound-mix. But Otto, then an estimated 7 months old and a friendly, if somewhat reserved scruffy-faced guy of about 40 pounds, was the one I chose to bring home “for a trial” – and of course, he never went back to the shelter. My husband mock-threatened to send him back several times in the first few days that we had him, as Otto spent any unsupervised minute digging holes under any plants we watered in the yard. It took me those first few days to realize he was just hot and looking for a cool place to lay down, and I ran out to get all the materials needed to build him a nice big damp sandbox in the shadiest corner of our yard. Once he had a legal place to dig a big hole and lay in it, our ornamental horticulture was safe.
The digging wasn’t the only behavioral challenge we dealt with in the early years, though it was the most easily resolved. It became clear that Otto, who had been brought into the shelter after being found in someone’s chicken coop (with dead chickens), had probably gone stray or been dumped at an early age. He had good street survival skills – he could (and would) pick and ripe blackberries from wild vines, and made a beeline for any fast-food bags or other food-smelling trash on the street – but he didn’t know anything about living in a house, did not like being in a car, and was uncomfortable with humans in the first couple of years we spent together. The microwave beeps, vacuums, doorbells, and the Geico caveman on the TV all elicited barking and a hasty retreat from the house. (The caveman triggered the most dramatic reaction; he never seemed to pay attention to the TV, but when he saw that hairy guy, he leaped to his feet barking and growling.) Most of that faded away with time, but his phobia of slippery floors persisted through his lifetime.
And despite the shelter’s warning on his cage card that he “Kills chicken” (a typo that will make me laugh until the end of my days), he never killed or even chased any of my free-range chickens. By the time he was 3 or 4 years old, the slippery-floors quirk was about the only thing keeping him from perfect sainthood – but surely saints have quirks, too?
He was always a night owl – probably because he also hated the heat his whole life, and where we live is hot from June well through September. In all but the coldest months, he preferred to sleep outdoors, at least for a few hours. To be let out, he would come and pant loudly just outside my (open) bedroom door – he thought the floor in our hall was too slippery to attempt in all but the most dire emergencies. To be let back inside, he would give the front door one careful scratch of a front paw – so careful that the door is dirty but not scratched. In response to that sound, I can walk to the door to let him in or out in my sleep, and have done just that thousands of times in the past couple of years, as he grew more and more restless and uncomfortable with pain and a bit of nighttime dementia. But as unreasonable as his desire to go in and out several times a night could be at times, his request was always polite (and respected).
Otto accepted a never-ending parade of foster dogs and taught countless foster puppies how to introduce themselves to adult dogs respectfully. He never hurt a single puppy, though he would roar a terrible roar if they didn’t heed the early warning rumbles of disapproval at an over-eager approach. He would beat a hasty although dignified retreat when vastly outnumbered, but if a lone puppy who was calm and polite came toward him, she would be rewarded with a slowly waving tail and an approving sniff – but that’s it. He wasn’t here to play with puppies; they could follow him around the property if they behaved themselves, but that’s all the familiarity they could brook. Even Woody, the Pit Bull-mix who came to our home seven-plus years ago as a 3-week-old foster puppy (along with eight siblings and a dog-aggressive mother) and never got sent back to the shelter, who grew to be taller and heavier and stronger than Otto but never stopped seeking Otto’s attention and approval, was treated like a rude puppy: “If you calm down and behave yourself, you can be near me. If you act like a fool, you will be treated as such.”
Somehow, his boss-like but benevolent demeanor inspired instant deference in every dog and puppy he met. Recently, I was visited by a friend and her standard Poodle, who can be a bit of a bully with other dogs. I held the Poodle’s leash, and was ready to intervene quite robustly if the Poodle pulled any crap whatsoever with my wobbly old guy – but that’s not how Otto presented himself to newcomers. As rickety as he was, he drew himself up, head high, tail waving, chest rumbling – and damned if that bully Poodle – who was a bit of an ass with friendly, happy Woody – didn’t immediately defer and disengage, putting his head and tail down and keeping his eyes elsewhere. Even he knew not to mess with the king.
Otto was the first dog I owned who I trained only with positive-reinforcement-based methods – and I think that was critical to helping him gain confidence in those early years, and develop into the unfailingly polite and responsive dog he was for the rest of his life. He loved training – he would insert himself into any training session with any dog he overheard me training, and compete for the rewards like an overeager third-grader who knows all the answers in math class. Somehow, this was endearing rather than annoying, and it certainly helped model the desired behaviors for the slower pupils I was actually working with – social learning is a thing!
Speaking of social learning, he taught Woody, Boone, and many of my friends’ dogs his greatest skill: standing still to pose for the camera. His portraits are innumerable and (I think) stunning. His calendar and magazine appearances are countless.
His other impressive skill was a recall that was immediate and enthusiastic, and even though he couldn’t hear me calling him in these past few years, he could still hear handclaps, which I would use to get his attention, and when he would turn to look for the source of the clap, a hand signal would still bring him as fast as he was able.
That wasn’t very fast, lately. He was on four different medicines for his arthritis pain, and watching him walk was certainly painful for me. And he couldn’t trot anymore – but he could and still would swing into a lope for short distances when he was really fired up, like when he spotted one of his imaginary enemies, the trucks of UPS, FedEx, and the United States Postal Service. (Our carrier liked to egg him on, and would often honk or call him as she drove by.)
Given his more or less constant arthritis pain, he suffered with the heat last summer – heat that lingered and worsened as the summer wore on. In September, he grew so miserable that I actually made an appointment for euthanasia for the following week. He liked being cool, but hated being indoors; he wanted to be outside, but it was hot. Panting, he’d ask to go out and then back indoors again multiple times an hour, seemingly forgetting why outdoors was not a viable option each time. Providentially, the heat finally broke that weekend, and by the time the vet arrived, it was 20 degrees cooler and he acted like his old self: dignified, gracious, interested. We adjusted his pain medication protocol and he lasted nine more months.
This winter and spring were kind to him. We had tons of rain, which came with mild temperatures; he often slept through rainstorms in his sandbox under its patio umbrella. I don’t think we had a single freezing night. And then in May, we had one or two warmish weeks, which immediately increased his discomfort, but then it cooled down again in an atypical way for this area. It’s almost as if the world was conspiring to keep him here longer. I started fantasizing that he’d make it to his 16th birthday. But it was a race against time, because his legs steadily lost muscle, particularly in the rear end, and his joints grew more and more lax. Viewed from behind as he walked, he resembled a puppet being controlled by an inattentive puppeteer who kept lowering the puppet’s control apparatus – his legs buckling and twisting in ways that hurt to watch. And he started to fall, and worry about falling. After a fall, he would struggle to get back to his feet and visibly resent any help I gave him; it seemed an affront to his dignity. He started holding his ears back and down almost permanently, panting in a tense grimace as he made his habitual, determined rounds of our property.
The last straw was the failure of his appetite. About a week ago, he started turning down meals. I tempted him with a can of something, which would work for one meal, and he’d refuse it at the next meal. He turned down raw eggs (an old favorite), scrambled eggs, and leftovers from our meals. He would still take my most reliable secret weapon – Stella and Chewy’s Meal Mixers – if I fed them one at a time like a treat, but when I bought some in patty form and put them in his bowl as a meal, it was a no-go. Without him eating, with the temperatures rising, I made another appointment.
I have heard many people say – hell, I’ve said it myself to several of my friends – that it’s better to give our beloved canine friends the permanent sleep too soon than too late, but that was before I had to make that agonizing decision myself. I am not sure I will repeat that advice as easily again. I didn’t want such a good dog to suffer, and told him so again and again as I held him and stroked that smooth hair on the top of his head, as the veterinarian made the final injection. But I miss him so much that I am not sure I can judge whether it was the right thing to do right now. No matter what I decided was going to cost me dearly. Paying for the lifetime of love and connection and fun and comfort he gave me should be costly; it was priceless.
I am so sorry you had to make that most difficult decision for Otto. I am dreading the time, in the near future, when I will have to make that decision for my girl, Ginny. They live such short lives, but mean so much to us in the time that we get to have them.
I remember Rupert. I remember when you brought Otto home. We measure our lives in dog years, and it is certainly the end of an era. Travel safely on, Otto, job well done.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve always enjoyed your stories about Otto. He was very special.
I have always said…at the end of their days, when there is suffering of our beloved furry ones, we take that pain of theirs and their suffering and we convert that it into our own grief and profound sense of loss. It is our last full measure of devotion to them and the greatest gift we can ever give them. Run free, Otto. You will always be loved.
Thank you for sharing Otto’s life with us in stories and photos. I’m so sorry for your great loss.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I have loved following stories of Otto and seeing his pictures since the time you brought him home and introduced him to us through WDJ. I felt as if I knew him as I would a friend’s pup through your writings. Rest easy, dear Otto.
What a wonderful life you gave Otto. I am so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss. I share your pain and have tears as I write this. I made the terrible decision myself for my beloved border terrier, who was 16. I miss him every day.
Nancy, Otto was lucky to have ‘landed soft’ with you and you were so lucky to share your life with him. In a way, Otto seemed like our dogger too…the readers of the WDJ…he grew up in your pages and we all shared his adventures & came to love him. I agree, knowing “when” is so so so hard, but I am also grateful to know I can extend that final loving, bittersweet, kindness when it is, after much agonizing, time to set them free. Where I’ve lived for the past 33 years, I have my ‘garden of beloved dogs’ near the willow tree, each with a small statue to mark their resting place. May Otto visit your dreams.
Nancy, my heart just hurts for you. Each loss is such a hard blow…my thoughts are with you and Otto’s entire family at this very difficult time~
i am so sorry for your loss. He is pain free now, romping in a cool sweet place until you meet again.
I’m sure you are missing him terribly. Be kind to yourself and let the others comfort you a little.
You do so much for all of us – i am so so sorry.
What a beautiful beautiful tribute to a most magnificent Otto (and owner). My tears are interfering with my ability to type. I know only too well the emptiness and pain and agony of second guessing. You’ve given your dear Otto the ultimate greatest gift. Bless you both.
Cathy
Oh Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss and feel your pain. As a long, long, long, time reader of WDJ, I loved reading about Otto. You gave him an absolutely wonderful life and I know you will see him again one day. I’ve had to make this extremely difficult decision before as well, and I know how much you will question yourself and the decision you made but it really was the right decision for Otto and the greatest gift you could give him.
Otto was the luckiest dog in the world to have been loved by you! He was telling you it was time, and you listened and did the kindest possible thing for him. I know how hard that was and that you will miss him terribly. But he is right there in your heart, and your memories of him will last forever. Sorry, Nancy. Thank you for the lovely tribute to him.
Thank you for sharing the great relationship you had with youre dog. Remind me of my Charlie Brown that has moved on also , a good dog and a Great friend…. SO sorry for youre loss
Even when we (meaning your readers) know this sad day is near, we hope it is still far into the future. My condolences to you and all who love Otto. We will miss reading all the wonderful things you write about him, and we too will hold special memories of him in our hearts. We love you Otto. ❤️😢🙏🐾
I am so sorry to hear about Otto. I am going through this same thing right now, trying to decide when to let one of my little dogs go. I have adopted many older dogs so I have had to make this decision many times but it is still as hard as the first time.
Oh Nancy, I am so sorry. I have been where you are and know the gulf between you and your beloved Otto. From my belief system, I know you will see him again; that he isn’t permanently gone – just not embodied at this time. I sincerely hope you can feel him around. Your tribute to him is magnificent. Thank you for sharing him with us all these years. 🐾
I’m so sorry, he was a wonderful dog❤️
Sorry to hear of Otto’s departure. It is so hard to lose a canine beloved. They always leave us too soon. He will always be in your heart.
Love outpaces the fastest runner. You and Otto prospered in leaps and bounds. Fondly, Amy
I know your pain and I am so sorry for you. Find peace in the knowledge you gave Otto a wonderful life full of love, adventures, and companionship. That’s the best we can do. BREATHE.
As I was reading your article about Otto, I knew what was coming. It is so hard to let go of our dogs, they give us so much. You know all the platitudes. The only thing that will help – a bit – with your pain is time. You did good with Otto. Please don’t blame yourself and think “if only I had ….”
Lovely tribute to an obviously much loved dog. So sorry for your loss.
I am crying, as I read this, because I truly understand your feelings and the dilemma of timing when it comes close to the ultimate decision. I grieve for you, and for Otto, and for myself, and the many special ones I’ve had to make this decision for. You think a new one might solve the pain, but though it helps, there is just no replacing the beloved you’ve just lost. I nonetheless wish you many more 4-legged ones to love, and who will remind you of the best of Otto in their own rare moments of true grace.
Nancy, I am so sorry about Otto, but you did the kindest thing you could for him. I’ve been through similar struggles and tears with my previous rescue dogs, brothers who died six months apart. I had them for 14 years.
Roxie, my little mini Aussie, became more and more aggressive, growling and baring her teeth at everyone she encountered except me. She didn’t want anyone else in my house or yard, and began lunging at everyone, including children. I realized I had no ability to control her behavior, and made the difficult decision to return her to the rescue she came from. I miss her every day.
Thank you for your efforts to help me with her, which did help – but I think the experiences she had as a puppy mill breeder were too traumatic for her to share me. I think I must have been the only human she felt was HER human, and she wanted me all to herself. As for Roxie, she has been adopted by a new family and I’m hopeful that she’s happy there.
Liz
What a wonderful tribute to Otto. Like many readers, I remember Rupert and have enjoyed Otto all these years. We all have to go through this in one form or another. It’s THE most difficult decision I have ever made. It hurts sooo much even when it’s the best thing to do. What a wonderful life you gave Otto!
Hoping you find some comfort in all of the supportive comments. We all loved reading about Otto and send sincere condolences to you and your family.
Crying to learn about Otto’s passing. I loved him from afar, what a great dog. He reminded me of my true love, Zeke, who was a bit similar in appearance, part airedale and part golden, supposedly. Otto had a good run, just like my Zeke, so we should be happy for that, but oh how excruciating the loss is. Sending you love Nancy, and thank you for all you do for dogs.
I was thinking of Otto just the other day. My condolences. It’s been four years since my last dog left me and I still feel the pain. All the best.
I am heartbroken for you.
I am so very sorry for your loss of Otto. Thank you for sharing him with us. The pain of losing a beloved canine companion never gets any easier, but I hope you will take comfort in knowing that you provided for him the life he wanted and needed.
I am so sorry. My heart aches for you. I know the pain only too well and it is the hardest things we ever have to do. I have so enjoyed reading about Otto–may his memories help you in this very sad time.
What a beautiful tribute. I love the last photo showing Otto running through the meadow. That’s a wonderful image to think of him running free without pain.
A beautiful tribute to Otto. I have had to make this decision more than I can say and it never gets easy. I always wished that they would live as long as us. Otto had a wonderful life with you. I am so sorry. RIP Otto.
I have DREADED this day for awhile now! I have had to make this decision myself TOO many times and it is ALWAYS devastating! Otto was such a big part of Whole Dog Journal and he will be missed! I’m sure that he will have a great time at the Rainbow Bridge playing with all of my “furkids”, till we can get there to be with them! Sending good thoughts and love your way!
Nancy, I am so very sorry for your loss of Otto. I have been a subscriber since the beginning of WDJ, and I fondly remember Rupert, and have followed Otto’s life with you since you brought him home. You gave him the last gift we can give our dogs, at the expense of no longer having him with you. I know it is heartbreaking. I hope that your memories of Otto bring him back to you often. He was a fabulous boy. I echo the last photo is wonderful. A perfect way to remember him.
Nancy, I am so sorry to hear about Otto. I know you are hurting and missing him. I went through your ordeal 3 years ago with my 15 year old Lab, Kate. I know how you feel, was it too soon, too late, but you have to know in your heart it was the “right” time. I still miss her, every day, but I also miss Jack and Sam and it’s been 20+ years for them. I don’t know whey their lives are so short, when we have so many more years. Years to miss them and reminisce about all the things we did together.
Rest in peace, dear Otto. Say hi to Kate for me.
Nancy, I’m so sorry. I know that hurt all too well. Otto certainly was a special guy to so many people; thank you for sharing him with us all these years. I take comfort in the belief that dogs never really die; they live on forever in our hearts, as Otto will live on in our (WDJ readers) hearts as well. Thank you for sharing your wonderful tribute to your longtime sidekick.
So sorry for your loss
It always gets harder for me to make that decision and then deal with the loss.
I watched Otto grow up through the years in whole dog journey. What an incredible life he had and what an incredible dog.
Oh, Nancy…I feel your heartbreak as if it were my own…and it WILL soon be my own, as my old dog Joey is going through much the same thing as Otto was, with worsening weakness in his back legs (accompanied by a recent diagnosis of lung cancer). There are simply no words to express my sorrow at your loss: Otto was indeed a one-in-a-million dog, and you gave him a life that he never could have imagined. I know you’re still agonizing over your decision to let him go, but you need to trust yourself on this one. You know as well as anyone that this kind of choice is NEVER easy, and that we always seem to second-guess ourselves when it comes to our own beloved companions…but I believe in my heart that you did the right thing, despite the incredible pain it caused you. Please know that you’re in my heart as you move through the sorrowful days ahead.
Heartfelt sympathy for your loss of Otto. I am crying as I send this because I have such empathy for your loss. Today is the fifth anniversary of the loss of my dog, Buddy. He was a shelter dog that nobody wanted when we adopted him at 5 months, a big black beautiful “labradane”. Buddy was everything I could wish for in a dog. As a dog trainer, he assisted me in my work with aggressive dogs. He suffered a stroke when he was 6 1/2. He never regained the use of his left front wrist, but with a lot of physical therapy and TLC he was able to walk for 30 minutes. We became a therapy team after his stroke and visited children and adults undergoing physical therapy and volunteered as a reading team. I have and do love all of the dogs I’ve been blessed with, but still miss Buddy so much and I guess I always will, so understand how deep your loss is. Otto was such a special boy and I’m grateful you shared his life with your readers.
Buddy was your “forever” dog. Caesar was mine.
“Everyone thinks their dog is the best dog in the world. No one is wrong.”
Oh, Nancy, I am so sorry. No matter how many times one goes through this, it never gets any easier. Thank you so much for sharing Otto’s life with us over the years. Many will join you in mourning his passing. Healing hugs to you and your family…human and canine.
I am so sorry for your loss. My soul mutt passed away nine weeks ago. He was having health issues as well and he held on until I was ready to make the dreaded phone call. While there is relief that he is no longer suffering, the pain of missing him is always with me. My husband’s golf buddy said the pain we feel after losing our beloved dogs is the tax we pay for all the happiness they brought to our lives. It is so true. No matter how sad I am now, I would do it all over again if I could. Thank you for sharing Otto with us.
My heart goes out to you. I made the decision to let my little Snickers go in Jan because her lung cancer came back.
It is probably one of the hardest choices to make. He had a good life. We may not want to make that choice but you know it was the right one. Keeping you in my heart & prayers.
Just read my comment and needed to mention Buddy developed more health complications after his stroke but he lived to be almost 11. And even though I know I made the right decision to have him euthanized I still doubt my decision from time to time. I think you made the right decision, Nancy, even though it was a hard one.
Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss. I can so relate to the sadness you are feeling now. My beloved “Tiki” is growing older and slowing down. Just the thought of that dreaded day brings tears to my eyes. I hope the joyful memories will soften the pain in your heart. Otto couldn’t have had a better life than the one you gave him.
We all know that day is coming before we even start looking, but somehow we put it aside for the time we have with them. After Caesar passed Veteran’s Day I didn’t start looking for a new dog until after Washington’s birthday. After Ramses passed on Thanksgiving night, I picked Diana up from her foster family on December 22. After over 25 years with a dog I can’t bear to live in a quiet house without one. Diana will be five in October and already has white hairs coming on her face. She is only 25% Golden but I think will end up with one of those senior Golden faces in a few years. They will be a reminder to me that time is passing and I won’t have her forever. I will always have another dog because if I don’t, Caesar and Ramses and Diana will think they didn’t do their jobs “right”. And they were all the best dogs in the world.
I’m so sorry for your loss! He was such a good boy and now he’s your little Angel watching over you and your furry family!
I feel your pain. 💔 Otto was so special. He will live in your heart forever.
I am so sorry for such a loss. I always looked forward to another Otto story and he will be missed dearly.
Dear Nancy,
I m so sorry for your loss! It is so hard to say goodbye! You were the most beautiful mommy to Otto, and he was lucky to have you and you were lucky to have him!
He was a special doggie, and he made me smile a lot, and cry today!
He will live in your hearts forever!
A big hug to you and your hubby!
Manuela
So sorry for you and your family’s loss. I have so enjoyed Otto’s journey through Whole Dog Journal over all of these years. I appreciate you sharing him with us. It is such a hard decision to make and no matter what the scenario – its hard in its own way. You did what was best for Otto and have many great memories and photos to ease the pain.
What a beautiful tribute to Otto. I am so, so very sorry for your loss. It is never easy to make that decision and my heart breaks for you. Sending good thoughts your way.
What a lovely tribute to Otto! He will be with you always!
Oh I am so sorry to read of Otto’s passing. I swear I have a memory of being in the car, many, many years ago, and hearing you on the radio (maybe NPR?), discussing what Otto’s breed combo might be — but I could have simply made that up, and maybe I was simply thinking of it while driving? Ha! But this is just to let you know that he gave so many of us such great memories of his adventures and life with you. He was an extra-special pup. And, as difficult as writing this article must have been, thank you so much for sharing this with us.
This is such sad news – I have been dreading reading but obviously not as much as you writing it! We all loved Otto and mourn with you. No matter how often you go through this, it never gets easier.
Thank you for your insights and articles.
This loss will hurt a long time for you. May I suggest you reread “Conversations with Reika”, a book you reviewed a couple of years ago. It helped me. So hard to lose one so loved. You were fortunate to have each other.
Thank you. Found it. Raika.
Tears in my eyes reading this. And I have been with you long enough I remember Rupert very well too. Currently I am losing 2 dogs also. 14 and 15 years old. It’s tough. My heart aches for you and all of us that love our dogs so much but have to face the time of their loss.
Wow, look at all the love Otto and you created, from all these people like myself who never met him or you, but just loved him through your wonderful stories! Thank you, Nancy, for sharing him with us, to give us joy and help us as we meander through this world with our own aging and aged friends and dogs. I’ve got 4, including 2 at 13 yrs and 1 close to 17, and the only thing worse than losing them would be never giving them the chance for a loving home. Otto will be in your heart and ours forever!
Otto’s tribute from you is heart-breaking and heartwarming at the same time. My dogs and I have journeyed with you and your dogs for a long time. We’re much better for it. Thank you for all the great info and all the hard work you do. Those of us who love dogs have been where you are now, grieving and hurting. Send-ing heart’s ease. 💕🐾
Thank you for such a beautiful story. I hate that you have to go through this, but am so happy you got to go through so many wonderful years with Otto. You and your family are so lucky to have this time with him, you heard his call to you! I have loved reading about Otto in the few years I have started subscribing to WDJ. Thank you and Otto and the others that come through these pages, that make me a better dog mom. I can’t take this pain away but am sending you a virtual hug (Otto asked me to)
Tracy
Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss. Your Otto stories beautifully illustrated how precious a dog-human relationship can be. You and Otto were obviously meant to be together. Deciding when to let go is the hardest decision you will ever make, but you know your dog and you know when it is time. Thank you for sharing him with us.
Beautiful tribute to best dog Otto, with my sincere condolences to you and your family of humans and critters. So incredibly tough to say good bye and godspeed to your extra-special pup. My heart is with you, Nancy.
With tears and gratitude to honor your years of love,
Lorraine
So sorry for your loss. I have been dreading Otto’s demise. You have shared his life with us, and I so appreciate Otto’s stories. I laughed so much and identified with you at the beginning when you & your husband had a few different ideas about training Otto:) He reminded me so much of a Border Collie, Mitch, that we had who taught me more about behavior than I learned from raising 3 children.
We had to euthanize our little dachshund Hershey 4 years ago and I still miss him so much. I don’t want another dog, I want Hershey back. I haven’t owned a dog for 4 years and still keep my Whole Dog Journal subscription.
Please know that you are in our hearts & prayers.
Sending love and prayers as you move through this difficult loss. Thank you for sharing this beautiful soul and the wonderful journey you had with him, with us all.
I’m so sorry. Tears are running down my face over a dog I never met but always admired. Plus, it hasn’t been so long since I paid this same necessary price of loving a dog who I never wanted to let go. It’s never the right time for us, but you just have to trust your judgement, informed by your love of them, that it was the right time for them. RIP Otto, you were loved by many.
Bless. So sorry for your loss. Otto went a long way down the rod with you and your family and will be ever nearby. Thank you for sharing him with WDJ folks; such a lovely essay on a dignified, individual fellow.
Almost hard for me to even write my sincerest expressions of sympathy for your grief as I am deep in my own, having said goodbye to my sweetest 12yo boxer girl just two weeks ago. We love them so. You were blessed to have Otto so long and, so far, my California rescues have been with me only 3, 3, and 4 years, respectively — one at a time. And one is just The Hardest as it leaves a huge vacuum in your life, everywhere they were, they are not, and no other dog is there to help, even a little. I love the seniors, so it means my heart will be broken on a frequent basis. I am a long-time volunteer in boxer rescue, and my best mantra is “we do all that we can, as long as we can” and that moment varies for each of us. It is the hardest decision. My last two both went through chemotherapy, and Lola had half her jaw removed and did well for 9 more months. No matter how long, it is never long enough. Arms around you in this time of sadness.
Oh Nancy, my heart goes out to you. What a beautiful tribute to a larger than life elder statesman.
Having been there myself, I understand there isn’t really anything any of us can say or do right now to make the pain go away. Just know that you have an entire community sending you love and support.
Otto will forever live on in our hearts.
I always enjoyed your photos of and anecdotes about your sweet Otto. The hardest thing we ever do for them is letting them go without suffering. You took the best care of him through the end and you gave him a happy life. I am sorry for your loss.
Otto will be greatly missed. Many of us remember when you first wrote about him and have followed all the stories about him. I’m very sorry for your loss. He was a great dog that brought lots of laughter and joy.
Nancy, so very sorry to hear about sweet Otto. Thank you for sharing him with all of us for all these years. This is a poem we read during our dogs funerals. Hope it gives you some peace.
I was chosen today
I’m learning to fly
the world took me away
but please don’t cry
And I chose you today
to try and be strong
so please don’t you cry
or say that I’m gone
When you’re feeling alone
just remember our love
I’m up near the stars
looking down from above
Remember our love
In a moment you’ll see
that I’m still here beside you
when you’re thinking of me
Beautiful!
Lovely!
Lovely!
A beautiful tribute for a wonderful dog and we are so sorry for your loss. We remember Rupert and remember when you got Otto. Interestingly enough, don’t remember that it took you so long until you were ready to adopt again! We’ve brought numerous dogs into our lives since we starting reading WDJ. Letting them go doesn’t get easier, but it is the right thing to do. It is the last gift you can give them.
I am so sorry for your loss. Tears here – we all have grown to love Otto so much over the years. I think you did exactly the right thing to let him go before he got worse and suffered in the summer heat. We just had to make the same heartbreaking decision with our 10 year old Rottie, Rosie. We could have tried to medicate more and looked for treatment for her bone cancer, but her eyes told me it was time. We had someone come put her down in her favorite spot on the patio the day after she turned on me in pain and put her mouth around my hand. She stopped short of what could have been a serious bite, but it told me her pain was too much to bear. She had always been a gently giant and must have hurt unbearably to do that. I worry that we waited a few days too long, but we also wrestled with the decision for a few days, so hard to let them go.
I am so sorry to hear of Otto’s passing. It is one of the hardest things to do because you know they don’t understand and you worry it may not be the right thing to do. As others have said, it is the last gift we can give them.
I am so sorry Nancy. I had to make the same decision with my sweet Cooper a year ago Sunday. It’s the worst pain I have ever felt. Thank you for sharing Otto with us and for all your wisdom with our furry friends. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very sad time.
I am so sorry for your loss. We lost our Buddy 6/19/22, so it’s coming up on a year. It is so hard to lose someone you love, regardless of species, and please give yourself the time to grieve. Having read Otto stories for so long, his loss will be felt by all of us. Again, I’m so sorry.
It truly inspires and crushes my heart to hear your story of Otto. I too anguished at the times I had to euthanize my three Corgis who all made it to 14+ years. Every day, I would ask myself if I was keeping my pup alive for me or for them. It’s all about the quality of life, not the quantity of life. Thank you for sharing.
I am so, so sorry to hear of Otto’s passing and your heartbreaking loss. I’ve followed your stories about him for years, and recently started worrying every time you posted. When I saw your subject line this morning, I just knew and immediately started choking up. After reading your tribute to him, the tears are streaming and Zander is trying to crawl into my lap because he knows.
Zander, Branson, Gilty and I are sending hugs and much love. Be gentle with yourself.
You have brought tears to my eyes. I loved hearing about Otto and am so sad that he has moved on. Dogs are such wonderful family members and loosing them is tough. Thank you for sharing him through the years. I have saved every issue since I started ( a lot) reading Whole Dog Journal.
My heart aches for you, and all those who loved Otto! He gave your readers, many smiles, and I felt the approaching sadness as you chronicled his decline. His strength and yours, his love and yours, and the example you have provided for all of us, are treasures, indeed. I know his life has made a difference in your life, as all of our beloved companions do. Thank you for sharing him with us. I know he’s at the Rainbow Bridge and has found a cool, calm place under a beautiful shady tree. May his memory be a blessing.
Nancy, I am so very sorry for the loss of Otto. I’ve been a subscriber for years and years and feel as if I knew him personally through your loving stories. May his memory be a blessing.
Your loss is enormous and I weep alongside you. The bond that loving pet owners have with their companion is forever unbreakable. When their bodies begin to deteriorate, faster than they’re able to repair, the inevitable heartbreak begins. I believe in quality over quantity in every aspect of my life. Choosing to assist them in the end of their life is the most compassionate and kind gift you will ever give them and I’m certain they are not only grateful but also thankful for our strength.
I’m a long time subscriber and remember when you got Otto (“Ottomaddockly”). How quickly the years pass. Wonderful tribute to a dog we all loved from afar. His personality leaped off the page, thanks to your writing and his photogenic good looks. I know he is missed and I’m happy for the wonderful years you shared. Take care.
I am so sad that it’s was Otto’s time to leave. With all your articles, you made us feel he was partly ours too. Dogs teach us so much – finally they teach us how to let go. With a lifetime of devotion, Otto can leave with the knowledge of a job well done. Nancy I hope your sorrow lessens quickly, even though I know it will never go away. And yes, you made the right decision for your companion.
My sincere condolences on your loss of beloved Otto. The grief we experience is equal to the love we feel and the love they gave us. I still mourn the loss of the many in my life. I will never forget them and hopefully will see them again.
Dogs who have survived the streets are often unusually smart with strong personalities already developed. Otto was a shining example of this and as such was one of our heroes at Animal Rescue Network since his adoption. Thank you for sharing the sad news.
I have tears as I write this. I have faithfully followed you and Otto for years. Even expecting this column, I am overwhelmed with sadness. Last December I ended up losing four senior dogs in the previous 13 months. The pain is hard. I hope you are better soon. It takes time, but peace comes. And his memory will be not only with you but with all of us who feel we knew him through your columns. My heart is with you.
There is a cycle of love and death that shapes the lives of those who choose to travel in the company of animals. It is a cycle unlike any other. To those who have never lived through its turnings or walked it’s rocky path, our willingness to give our hearts with full knowledge that they will broken seems incomprehensible. Only we know how small a price we pay for what we receive; our grief, no matter how powerful it may be is an insufficient measure of the joy we have been given. – Suzanne Clothier
All I want to do is give you a big hug after reading that lovely tribute to Otto. So sorry for your loss.
So very sorry to hear about Otto 🙁
I’m a relative newcomer, as I’ve been following your stories about Otto for only about 5-6 years.
I’m not always the best with words, so I’ll leave you with a sentiment that always causes me to well up…especially when it was passed along to me when my two Whippets crossed over the Rainbow Bridge within four months of each other in late 2020 & early 2021. And the two puppers I adopted after my Whippets passed, well they were both 13 at the time and now they’re both 15. It’s likely I’ll be experiencing this sentiment again fairly soon.
Not sure who the author is that wrote this poem.
And though you’ve probably seen it before, may it help to bring you peace.
* * * * * * * * * * * * *
Waiting At The Door
I was just a pup when we first met, I loved you from the start.
You picked me up and took me home and placed me in your heart.
Good times we had together, we shared all life could throw.
But years passed all too quickly, my time has come to go.
I know how much you miss me, I know your heart is sore.
I see the tears that fall when I’m not
Waiting at the door.
You always did your best for me, your love was plain to see.
For even though it broke your heart you set my spirit free.
So please be brave without me, one day we’ll meet once more.
For when you’re called to Heaven,
I’ll be waiting at the door.
The last picture of Otto makes me smile while completely breaking my heart. It reminds me of the old Eugene O’Neill elegy to his Dalmation, Blemie……. “the old brave days on earth.” What a dog Otto was and how lucky we have been to have known and loved him all these years.
Like you, I struggle with that advice to let them go a day early, rather than a day too late. In my heart, I know I have always waited just a bit too long. And the decision never gets easier, no matter how many times you have to make it.
Your loving heart knew your boy through and through and gave him the best life he could have ever had, right to the last moment. We all have our arms around you today.
Our deepest condolences to you on the loss of the fabulous Otto. We share your heartache. I love the quotation June Sigler shared in her comment–it is so true, Otto left his paw prints on many hearts–all who had the good fortune to know him personally and all of us who fell in love with him as he became the “face” of The Whole Dog Journal. It is never easy to make the decision to help our furry companions cross to the Rainbow Bridge. The best decision is based on the dog’s quality of life. If the bad days out number the good days, if the pain can no longer be controlled to keep the dog comfortable without adverse reaction, we must put the pet’s quality of life as our foremost concern. We have had to make the difficult decision 7 times in our lifetime of pets. The first time was the hardest and we admittedly waited too long–our selfishness causing unnecessary discomfort to our beloved dog. We became much more aware with each pet, in our “listening” and evaluation of quality of life. It is never easy to say goodbye.
What a beautiful tribute to such a well-known, well-loved dog even if only through these pages. I’m so deeply sorry for your loss. As we all know, he’s in exquisite company! Not that it helps the rest of us left behind. How we all wish they lived as long as parrots!
The many tributes, yours being the finest of course, have been lovely. I’m clearly not the only person who’s loved Otto from my laptop. I’ve been glad to read other peoples’ poems at such sad times, too.
We have a favorite, too, by Thich Nhat Hahn
This body is not me.
I am not limited by this body. I am life without boundaries. I have never been born,
and I have never died.
Look at the ocean and the sky filled with stars, manifestations from my wondrous True Mind.
Since before time, I have been free.
Birth and death are only doors through which we pass, sacred thresholds on our journey.
Birth and death are a game of hide-and-seek.
So laugh with me,
hold my hand,
let us say good-bye,
say good-bye, to meet again soon. We will meet again tomorrow.
We will meet at the source every moment. We meet each other in all forms of life.
Nancy, I am so very sorry for the loss of Otto. My heart hurts for you. I enjoyed seeing his pictures in WDJ. He’s so reminds me of my dog Steve who I lost in November 2021. It is only now that I can actually even talk about them without welling up. Thank you so much for sharing his story. Sending much love and aloha.
What a beautiful remembrance! The heart with the N in the center on Otto’s kennel documentation really said it all…. even then you knew…. and I know it’s where he will stay.
I am so sorry about Otto, my heart aches for you…just remember ~ sometimes our last act of love we give them is to let them go.
Nancy, it took me forever to read your loving tribute to Otto as I bellowed with blurred vision. The compassion from everyone who wrote brought more bellowing as I sat next to my “all my BEST dogs into one”, Razzi, who just turned 5 last week. Each year her birthday brings such sadness as it brings her life…shorter..for lack of better words. I truly don’t believe I’ll be able to handle her passing when the time comes.
My heart is beyond breaking for you as it’s torture but you helped me see a better future. I only hope to have as much fulfillment and enrichment with Raz as you had with Otto. Run, play, and be by her side, Otto. Bless your soul.
So sorry you lost such a magnificent boy and friend. I too made that decision for my love of a lifetime and it was too hard. I am still grieving 9 mths later. Saying a prayer for your heart.
Fond memories of Otto will bring you comfort. Hugs.
💜🌺🫂🙏🏽🐾
Dear Otto – you are now free to run! I lost my Alex in March and he left a big hole in my heart. Hugs to you Nancy.
All my love during this time of great loss. Otto was a fine fellow. I have enjoyed his journey with you, and remember him fondly.
I am so sorry. What a loving tribute and what a beautiful, very good boy.
My condolences on the loss of Otto. We have followed Otto’s life and while we knew this was coming it is still a shock. While there is no avoiding the inevitable, somehow we still hope our loved ones will live forever. Fifteen years and seven months is a very respectable age for any dog. It is a tribute to how well Otto was loved and taken care of. Good food, good healthcare, good exercise, loving family.
I know Otto hated the heat and loved the outside. With his loss of muscle tone and control and then the loss of appetite, you loved him enough to let him go rather than cling to him and force him to suffer a miserable life. The true test of our love is when we let go. You put Otto and his quality of life first. He couldn’t have asked for more.
Reading this I revisited my own Ramses. With him I didn’t know he had cancer until the very end. The vet gave him a few weeks and he passed 10 days later, two days before our final vet appointment. Also in my arms, feeling pets over his favorite spots and hearing what a good boy he was.
Otto was very special. Thank you for sharing him with all of us. Please continue to share the lifetime of beautiful photos he posed for.
I’m tearing up though I only knew Otto through WDJ’s pages. Had to put down my 13-¾ yr. old Irish setter the day after last Xmas. She was my second setter, my 9th dog, and the first one I’d raised from early puppyhood (13 wks.). She was gluten-intolerant—something her breeder either didn’t know or didn’t bother to tell me. The local vets were unfamiliar with syndrome in Irish setters. It took 2 yrs. for me to stumble on the diagnosis, a delay that caused permanent damage to her digestive tract and resulted in our spending a fortune on special foods for her. But she was worth every penny! I recently adopted a new puppy, who’s incontinent due to an ectopic bladder—something HER breeder failed to inform me about! I’ll soon be paying for what I’m sure will be very expensive corrective surgery. But they work their way into our hearts so that no expense seems impossible to bear. My sincere condolences, Nancy. Otto was loved by many of us who never had the privilege of actually knowing him.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my heart dog in 2021, and still feel it sharply. Loved reading about Otto over the years – may he rest in peace now.
Praying peace, comfort for you and your family. Sending you love and hugs.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I am texting this message. I dread the day that I may have to experience euthanizing our dear mini 5 year old Labradoodle, Stevie. There is a chance he may outlive me since I am no “spring chicken”‼️ You have given me the best guideline as to how and when to let go.
PS This accidentally posted before I got to say “Thank you” for a beautiful eulogy and for the most wonderful advise you added through the wonderful article! It had to be as difficult to write as it was to read your beautiful thoughts and words‼️🥰
I am so sorry for your loss. Every time I opened an email from WDJ recently I feared I would read the news you imparted. Otto will be greatly missed by all his fans and readers. 😢💔🌈
I am sorry for your great loss. Over the past year we went from a five-dog home to a one-dog home – all very old dogs who had good years with us – so like so many others who’ve replied, I know how you feel. All dogs do go to heaven.
So sad. So sorry.
My heart goes out to you in this painful loss. I am sitting here crying just from “knowing” Otto from your articles. Dogs cause us incredible pain, but I can’t imagine life without them. What amazing creatures they are. Peace to you in your loss.
My sincere condolences to you Nancy. I loved following your articles about Otto. You, Otto and Whole Dog Journal gave me such great advice over the last many, many years. Heck, I will miss Otto as he became an Icon of Whole Dog Journal. I cannot imagine what you are going through. What a beautiful tribute you wrote to honor who he was. What a majestic and proud boy he was. This part of living with a companion animal is the hardest of all, yet it is the most loving gesture we can do to break our hearts to let go. I still tear up about our last girl we helped to move on in 2013. Many hugs to you and now Otto will be an angel to watch over you.
So sorry…….
My deepest condolences. Thank you for sharing Otto with your readers all these years. He has inspired us, charmed us, amused us and taught us all to be better providers for our canine friends. peace and love.
Nancy, I am so very sorry for your loss.
What a lovely tribute for Otto… those of us who have followed stories about him over the years will miss him, too. It takes great courage to love a dog, knowing that goodbye comes all too soon. Thank you for giving him such a wonderful life.
Oh Nancy, even knowing the time is coming, I know how heart-wrenching it is to let our beloved 4-legged kids go. I also know that terrible self-doubt about when to do it. To soon? Too late? Impossible to really know. My heart breaks for you. I had to let my amazing, best-dog-ever companion go about two years ago now and I still can’t bear to adopt another dog even though I think it would be good for our other dog to have another companion. I’ve learned a lot from you and I’m so grateful to have known Otto through your wonderful photos and stories about him. You gave him his best possible life and I truly hope your memories of him will help sustain you. Thank you for being such a wonderful example and educator and for risking your heart over and over for the love of dogs!
Had my cry yesterday over Otto. My beloved Sammy was about a year older than him and I had to let him go last June. Sam had a similar personality to Otto, distinguished and all that. I have a nephew that called him Senator Sam! He was a very loving dog who had to be in the same room as me. Ah, the joy they bring to us for the short time that we have them! I know you loved him dearly and I do feel your pain. May the Lord bring you comfort as the days go by. He will live on in your heart!!! Thank you so much for sharing his life with all of us…..it brought me belly laughs on many a day!!!
I’m so sorry for your loss. I have enjoyed getting to know Otto from your stories about him. I sit here with tears in my eyes. Sending you warm wishes.
Dear Nancy…such a lovely tribute to Otto and your love for him…I am so so sorry for the pain you feel right now. He surely was a grand and handsome fellow and deeply cherished by you. Praying for you. RIP Otto..good dog
May inner peace be with you and your family at this time of such very deep loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Otto was the best boy. I love reading your stories about all your dogs, but Otto was somehow extra-special.
Oh Nancy, my heart is breaking for you. Otto was a very special boy and I thank you for sharing him with us.
My Whole Dog Journal journey began with Otto and his sandbox. It was one of the funniest things I had every heard of – building a dog someplace to dig, and a cool resting spot for the hot summer days. Who did these things? I’ve come a long ways since then. I always looked forward to hearing Otto stories – his stern uncle behavior with the puppies, and how he got along with Woodie. It’s been hard reading about his aging this last year – we all know it’s coming, but it doesn’t make it any easier. My condolences to you and all your family. No one will ever replace him, he was a wonderful guy.
Nancy, thanks for this beautiful, heartfelt and inspiring tribute to Otto. I have always enjoyed your stories of Otto in the Whole Dog Journal, and my heart sank when I read the headline of this article. I adopted my first dog, Rags, a mini-poodle/chichuahua mix, during the pandemic. We bonded fast and I can’t imagine my life without him now. I ended up taking a course in Pet Grief as if to prepare myself for the inevitable, hopefully many years down the line. But one can never really be prepared, and tears came up for me reading about your love and respect for Otto. Is there ever a “right” time for euthanasia? You did it when you and he could both let go. May your pain ease with time and the memory of this noble “stray” be with you always. sincerely, Judy
Well…now you’ve got me crying. Sail on Otto…You’ll forever be our cover dog
I am so so sorry. But you made the rught decision. When the old guys can‘t be tempted by their favorite food their life is bleak. He loved you and you loved him. No greater tribute could be said. Gods love so unconditionally the least we can do is let them go.
Dear Nancy
I am so sorry to hear about Otto. I went through this with Mandy a few years ago and I miss her terribly. Reading your beautiful tribute to Otto brought to surface memories of my girl not wanting to eat and increasing episodes of seizures where I had no options but to set her free. I believe in this quote (author unknown)……
“Our beloved pets never go away. They walk beside us every day. They watch over us every night and accompany us every moment. Unseen and unheard but always so loved, so cherished, and so missed.
God Bless you for loving Otto …. and the many pups that have been and are in your care.
Nancy, I enjoy your blog so much. I look forward to it every time, no matter what the subject matter is. This time, it’s so hard to read, and I’m crying for you, for me, for all of us who have loved Otto. This time, you wrote something so powerful and I’ve never seen it stated this way before: “Paying for the lifetime of love and connection and fun and comfort he gave me should be costly; it was priceless.”
Thank you for these words; I will always remember them. They help me understand my own feelings about each lost companion. Thank you for sharing Otto with me. I wish he was with us still.
What a beautiful tribute to your boy. I cried as I read it. What a wonderful life you gave Otto. Looking for magical words to help your heartache but of course there are none. Thank you for sharing his story. Much love to you and your family
Such a beautiful tribute to sweet Otto, Nancy. Was read through tears. And your statement “Paying for the lifetime of love and connection and fun and comfort he gave me should be costly; it was priceless,” is *so* very true. Otto had such a good life with you and your family. He knew he was loved. Thank you for sharing him with us through the years.