What If You Get the Wrong Dog?

It’s a sad fact (but a fact nevertheless) that sometimes people adopt a dog or buy a puppy that turns out to quite unsuited for life with those people. Sometimes, it’s predictable—and could have been prevented, if only someone who knew better had been able to intervene in time—like the couple in their 80s who bought a high-octane small breed or a strong large-breed puppy because they had always had that type of dog before, or the super-busy family who buy a dog who needs a ton of exercise and grooming. In other cases, maybe they selected a dog of a breed and size that should have been appropriate for their family, but ended up with an individual with a personality and interests that are simply not well-suited for a peaceful, fun life with that family.

Note that I’m not talking about a dog with a dangerous propensity for serious resource guarding or unprovoked aggression—that’s a problem for another day. I’m just talking about dogs who are just a bad fit for their family, such as a dog with more energy than the family can possibly channel through enrichment or exercise, or a dog who turns out to be deeply uncomfortable with children in a family overrun with kids, or a dog who is committed to a couch-potato life (doesn’t like hiking, is scared of the outdoors, or just wants to snuggle on the sofa) in a family who enjoys outdoor activities daily. If no one is enjoying the dog in the first few weeks or months—and the dog doesn’t seem to be thriving in their home, either—what then?

I strongly believe that rehoming the dog quickly is the best course of action for all concerned, even though it can be difficult to cut both your financial losses (price of a pup, plus spay/neuter surgery, vaccinations, microchipping, etc. plus investment in training, crates, beds, gates, etc. etc.) and emotional ties. But when you compare the cost of all of the things you invested in during the first few months against the investment you will make over at least 10 to 15 or more years with a dog you just don’t enjoy—and who doesn’t enjoy you so much, either!—it should be apparent that it’s the right thing to do.

Finding an appropriate home in which to place your dog is not easy, however, even if the dog is an attractive or trendy breed. People often have an attachment to the concept of being a dog’s first owner—they want that personal history of the dog’s babyhood with them! If you have been experiencing a rough puppyhood with the dog, this might not make sense to you, but try to remember back a few months earlier, when YOU were the one who wanted a clean-slate puppy.

Be aware that it can be difficult to tap into a population of people who are shopping for their next dog. When most people make the decision to adopt, they tend to look for breeders or shelters; not nearly as many look on Craigslist.

Tips on Rehoming a Dog

If you’ve made the decision to rehome your dog, consider these tips:

• Discuss returning the dog with the shelter, rescue, or breeder you got him from. Most rescues and shelters use a contract that requires you to return the dog to them if you choose not to keep him. So do good breeders!

Note that I am talking about returning a dog to the shelter only if you got him from the shelter. I don’t support the decision to bring a dog to a shelter simply because you have decided he’s not the dog for you—largely because the shelters are already full of dogs who are there because people couldn’t afford them or lost their housing, or their owners died. There are far more tragic stories than yours; personally, I don’t think “a poor fit” is enough justification to warrant surrendering to a shelter. I think those kennels should be reserved for true hard-luck cases where no other safety-net option exists to help.

• Ask your friends and family members if they are interested in adopting your dog.
• Make a post asking for help in rehoming the dog on your social media pages. Be honest; don’t misrepresent the dog, but be prepared to disclose the reasons why you need to rehome the dog to people who contact you. Be honest! If the dog has a problematic behavior—such as nuisance barking or housetraining failures—tell the person who is interested in him, and also tell them why you think you’ve been unable to deal with that behavior. Hiding the true reasons that have motivated you to rehome the dog is not only unethical, but it can set up the dog for abuse in his new home. (Also, what is a problem for you may not be a problem for someone else; for example, barking may not be as problematic for someone who lives in the country instead of an apartment; housetraining issues may resolve with a move into a home with a yard and dog door.) Finally, ask your friends to share the post.
• If you’ve taken classes with a trainer, enlist the trainer for help with finding a new home. Ask if she can post a courtesy listing for your dog on the training business’s social media pages.
• Ask your veterinarian’s staff if they have suggestions; they may know someone who recently lost a dog and might be looking for another one soon. Also, they, too, may have a social media presence where they could provide a courtesy listing for your dog, or even a bulletin board in their waiting room.

Remember, the traits that drive you crazy in a dog may be the key to winning some other person’s heart! “Too much energy” for your family may develop into someone else’s champion flyball or agility dog; a dog who is inactive and not very interactive might make an ideal companion to an older person who sit on a couch a lot! Do your best to find a family who is better suited for those dogs, so they can thrive!